记得很久以前我在拉曼学院时编过一个剧本给老师。
那是一部写实与非写实结合的剧本。最后因为演员都是新人，不鼓励运用非写实来演出所以本banned..
剧本是说到，每个人在内心深处其实都有非常多的盒子，非常多的礼物盒。
盒子里装满的都是数之不尽的回忆..
据说人非常容易善忘。很多时候就在你收拾房间还是无意间发现那个盒子时..
顿时间，非常多说不清楚的情绪将会往你脑袋里的情绪神经拥挤。
人的内心就好像一颗圣诞树那样，随着年纪的增加，身边挂着越来越多的礼物。
礼物装着越来越多曾经是很重要，可是现在看起来只是普通但却有说不出话的东西..
当你房间堆满了盒子，你会选择好好的整顿你的房间摆放好它们。还是开了丢弃一些你不喜欢还是讨厌的东西？
从以前到现在如果给我重新编回这部剧，我还是会选择收着，如果我是里面的故事人物。
在分手后。其实我做了一间很蠢一下的事情。
不过，我相信那是象征着我经历过怎样 感情里的一个东西。
我甚至担心，如果下一个人不是你，那么下一个它该怎么接受这样的我。
如果说每段感情都有一个属于它们的物品堆，还是物品。
那么，或许我真的不是一个很好的那个人。无论是之前还是现在，我都没办法保留所有我拥有的那些东西。
或许，我保留的东西实在是太多了。
你们有没有试过，打算整理房间，越是整理。就感觉好像不行？
结论只有两个，东西太多，或者我不懂得运用空间。
我不懂那些东西我该丢弃，那些东西应该保留，我能做的只有尽量的保留所有的东西。然后一直学习怎么把空间运用得更好..
客观角度来说我自己的话，或许我该这么形容我自己。
我是一个背着很多石头的阿伯？ =P
我学习着怎么让石头背得比较轻。
或许这些石头对任何人来说都是垃圾，可是..它们对我而言是独一无二的。
或许我就是那个固执的石头。
但是，人..谁不固执呢？尤其是经历过不同的事情后，对于事情的固执是真的多少都会加重..
今天看了一篇文章，我没说什么就share了出去。
我发现原来我真的还没到达那个领悟的点。
喂 koko!! 你凭什么？=)
不懂为什么的，顿时间我责怪着我自己..=x
其实..我不是生气你，不是误会你..
是我不小心的打开了心里一个礼物盒。里面我看到了一团黑黑色的东西..
那个东西使我自己的自我否定意思变得比较偏激..
使我没办法一时间整理好自己..
那团黑漆漆的东西--------> 阴影。
我需要时间得去战胜它。
哎哟！我不懂啦~总之，就是需要越过它啦！
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
jwei to koko message.
Q: how can i made some1 know me more......... =x
A: it's depend on how much you know them xD
am i？
recently i duno what happen to me..
but 1 thing that i can sure,i dun like the feeling that having some generationgate with you.
it is suffer, when i found out that i got the generation gate with you.
i become more sensitive person recently,do you realize ?
i started change to another you. this is what i feel.....
my mun complain to me, she say tht i am degeneration day by day that i really dun have any idea that it happening.
am i？
or this is the true personality of koko?
nonono..
i feel lik i dun like the name koko anymore.
i lik myself as jwei.
koko just a joker, that hope can made my friend and family and lover be happy.
ko = die?
koko = die gao gao >.<
dis is the 1sttime i think how can i intro myself to other in a funny way =]
1 year pass. (with the words ED.)
there are 1 thing that i need to agree with myself.
"i am actually not that strong that i thought."
attitude is everything.
i have an attitude problem in this relations? am i?
i know myself was a very kind person in any type of relations..
i dare and also feel ok to give out everything i can to other.
this is the person that i know myself.
or..i am wrong?
what thing made koko wrong?
when did koko start to not believe other and be a person that i hate most?
there are always a thing..
a thing that i really duno how to spread it out.
and i am sure that you are the person that can help me to found out the thing.
the one and the only.
do you know?
"how can i made some1 understand me?
it depend how much i understand them.."
did i know you well?
if yes, how come both of us cant accept our attitude?
do you know me well? or, should i ask myself,
koko, do you know she well?
this few day i spend around rm30 in comn and solve the misunderstood..
it heaven add my home telephone fees yet..
all i wan to mention at here is not how much we spend in the time we doing comn..
it was not a problem..but it was a thing that not very good for me and you..
there are a question tht suddenly pop out in my mind..
did we solve the crisis we facing?
spend so lot of time and money and also attitude.
did the way we solve the crisis made any different to us?
no..?errr...i feel the answer was no.. =x
what is the point that we doing in this few day or so many month to calling each other?
yes..?errr..i hope it was yes.....
but..
how come both of us fell strange with each other?
did the thing we doing adalah worthless？
what will we get in the ending?
you feel that i am not very practical.
i have no idea that why i made you feel that in the end.
my attitude?
hmm.. you misunderstood of my attitude?
or this is what ppl always mention as generation gate?
should i find out the answer for this question?..
i always asking myself.
what did i need to do or what i hope it happen..in every moment we facing trouble..
just because i cant understand what you need in those moment?
can i just accept whatever thing you wan?..
but i feel that i am not a person that look like that..
which is the true?
koko changed?
or you thought koko changed?
hmm...
what is the thing harr?..........
everyone have own secret and something which is difficult to cross over..
i found that when i have a relations ship.
i started have a thing that i cant cross over.
when i face you, i feel that i have a weakness which is other i wont found it happen on myself in normal time.
is this a good thing or something that prove you are the right person that i should meet and solve it together with you?
hmm...jwei suddenly missing in actino again while typing this msg to koko. (-___________-)
A: it's depend on how much you know them xD
am i？
recently i duno what happen to me..
but 1 thing that i can sure,i dun like the feeling that having some generationgate with you.
it is suffer, when i found out that i got the generation gate with you.
i become more sensitive person recently,do you realize ?
i started change to another you. this is what i feel.....
my mun complain to me, she say tht i am degeneration day by day that i really dun have any idea that it happening.
am i？
or this is the true personality of koko?
nonono..
i feel lik i dun like the name koko anymore.
i lik myself as jwei.
koko just a joker, that hope can made my friend and family and lover be happy.
ko = die?
koko = die gao gao >.<
dis is the 1sttime i think how can i intro myself to other in a funny way =]
1 year pass. (with the words ED.)
there are 1 thing that i need to agree with myself.
"i am actually not that strong that i thought."
attitude is everything.
i have an attitude problem in this relations? am i?
i know myself was a very kind person in any type of relations..
i dare and also feel ok to give out everything i can to other.
this is the person that i know myself.
or..i am wrong?
what thing made koko wrong?
when did koko start to not believe other and be a person that i hate most?
there are always a thing..
a thing that i really duno how to spread it out.
and i am sure that you are the person that can help me to found out the thing.
the one and the only.
do you know?
"how can i made some1 understand me?
it depend how much i understand them.."
did i know you well?
if yes, how come both of us cant accept our attitude?
do you know me well? or, should i ask myself,
koko, do you know she well?
this few day i spend around rm30 in comn and solve the misunderstood..
it heaven add my home telephone fees yet..
all i wan to mention at here is not how much we spend in the time we doing comn..
it was not a problem..but it was a thing that not very good for me and you..
there are a question tht suddenly pop out in my mind..
did we solve the crisis we facing?
spend so lot of time and money and also attitude.
did the way we solve the crisis made any different to us?
no..?errr...i feel the answer was no.. =x
what is the point that we doing in this few day or so many month to calling each other?
yes..?errr..i hope it was yes.....
but..
how come both of us fell strange with each other?
did the thing we doing adalah worthless？
what will we get in the ending?
you feel that i am not very practical.
i have no idea that why i made you feel that in the end.
my attitude?
hmm.. you misunderstood of my attitude?
or this is what ppl always mention as generation gate?
should i find out the answer for this question?..
i always asking myself.
what did i need to do or what i hope it happen..in every moment we facing trouble..
just because i cant understand what you need in those moment?
can i just accept whatever thing you wan?..
but i feel that i am not a person that look like that..
which is the true?
koko changed?
or you thought koko changed?
hmm...
what is the thing harr?..........
everyone have own secret and something which is difficult to cross over..
i found that when i have a relations ship.
i started have a thing that i cant cross over.
when i face you, i feel that i have a weakness which is other i wont found it happen on myself in normal time.
is this a good thing or something that prove you are the right person that i should meet and solve it together with you?
hmm...jwei suddenly missing in actino again while typing this msg to koko. (-___________-)
Saturday, September 10, 2011
嘻嘻嘻~
今天很突然的，朋友原本说下午吃东西的。
最后早上就打给我了。也很巧的，前几天send 的resume 有人回复了。
拜一得去见工了 =）
是一份event工哦，心情很兴奋..可是却很不知所措。。
因为地点是在damansara 牛车水哪里..我不懂怎么去..
幸好今天朋友得空，做我的军事，一起迷路了3个多小时终于去到了。 =）
原来damansara，不是shopping mall..它只是一个店面..
一个区..叫牛车水..真的找死我..半路上还一直下雨 =x
今天是我很久很久之后，第一次踏出kl =）
嗯..希望拜一interview能够顺顺利利，那么我开学时就算发生什么事情。
我都会有安全感 =）
--------------------------------------------------------
之前听迪生说有些东西不一样了 =）
我一直都好好奇，究竟是什么。不过很巧和的，今天好像发现到了 =）
嗯，在晚上吃东西的时候，看到至哼 =）
那家伙，太得空了 ==
突然sms我说undang pass了，结果是fail是pass我不懂啦，希望你是及格的 =）
hmm..
最近我有一种很微妙的感觉，我觉得我周围的一切人事物和事情好像会改变这样。
不懂为什么，很很很大感触.. =)
还是那一句，我希望一切的改变的牺牲不会很多..
希望大家都能顺顺利利.. =)
今晚看到了月圆。
我不知道为什么我会有一种很说不出的感觉..=)
喂！！！！加油！！ =)
嗯...最近很多东西真的在改变着。加油.. =)
最后早上就打给我了。也很巧的，前几天send 的resume 有人回复了。
拜一得去见工了 =）
是一份event工哦，心情很兴奋..可是却很不知所措。。
因为地点是在damansara 牛车水哪里..我不懂怎么去..
幸好今天朋友得空，做我的军事，一起迷路了3个多小时终于去到了。 =）
原来damansara，不是shopping mall..它只是一个店面..
一个区..叫牛车水..真的找死我..半路上还一直下雨 =x
今天是我很久很久之后，第一次踏出kl =）
嗯..希望拜一interview能够顺顺利利，那么我开学时就算发生什么事情。
我都会有安全感 =）
--------------------------------------------------------
之前听迪生说有些东西不一样了 =）
我一直都好好奇，究竟是什么。不过很巧和的，今天好像发现到了 =）
嗯，在晚上吃东西的时候，看到至哼 =）
那家伙，太得空了 ==
突然sms我说undang pass了，结果是fail是pass我不懂啦，希望你是及格的 =）
hmm..
最近我有一种很微妙的感觉，我觉得我周围的一切人事物和事情好像会改变这样。
不懂为什么，很很很大感触.. =)
还是那一句，我希望一切的改变的牺牲不会很多..
希望大家都能顺顺利利.. =)
今晚看到了月圆。
我不知道为什么我会有一种很说不出的感觉..=)
喂！！！！加油！！ =)
嗯...最近很多东西真的在改变着。加油.. =)
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