Friday, September 14, 2012

2008-2012~ 毕业啦!


打从 2008年开始就开始了在拉曼学院的大专生活。
回想起来,我这几年还真的是他妈的难熬 =x

从化一开始加入 NS,到人家开学半年后,我才加入他们。
幸好,那时候的我确确实实的蛮幸运,我进到了一个很有人情味的班级。
读读下,去到了deploma year1 年尾。那是我人生中,最最最低潮的时期。

1/4号,2010年。老天爷和我开了我人生最大的玩笑。
那个玩笑,真的让单纯相信所有的东西只要尽力就能妥善好的我,开始怀疑自己的人生价值观究竟是不是有问题..
其实我不敢说自己经历了什么比一般人还难过的事情。

不过。那是我这二十几年来。第一次遇到的情况。
情场上,自己的另一半去到了外面发现自己喜欢上另一个他。感谢你。是你让我哭得最狼狈的=x
我现在还记得。我那时候还办着电梯停格的演出 & tea time窜场。其实,几乎每一天的排戏之前,我都哭一轮。
几乎每天都不想去排戏。

几乎..我每个月都会去新加坡1次。
几乎,所有的时间都放在一段已经被遗弃的感情上。
然后,我想感谢我身边的所有朋友,vivian,慧珊,dexter,jacky,grace。

我还记得,那一年的圣诞前夕。我计划去新加坡。为的其实就是想完成她的一个小小梦想。
还记得,那时候因为意见不合。第一次在旺角和dexter吵起来 =x 我们第一次吵架叻!omg!
不过现在感情很好 =D
jacky 就一直在那里做和事老 >.< 而grace,hmm..好啦!感谢你这个干妹妹这么关心我这个干哥哥 =D
反正,没什么,失恋罢了 >.<

不过2010年的这个失恋,就是让我变成堕落,需经历多另外两年他们的刻苦铭心的地狱。
2011年是我这2x多年里,sibeh低潮的时期。学业超级不顺利 =x sibeh多小人。
感情上=x dear~~ 我的deardear 每天都好像不懂我在想什么的 =x

家庭上,妈妈的病比起2010年,稍微好了很多。
在2010年的同时间,妈妈病的很很很严重。严重到。我晚上..听见爸爸的哭声。
我还记得那时候我真的很压抑。剧场上,大家都把我表现不好的原因指责在我没有责任感,失恋大过天上面。
学业上,因为赶着剧组的事情,落到去谷底。一直一直追不上所有的进度。

我到今天,还记得那时候的生活。
早上去上课,放学去排戏,12点多1点半夜去别人家搞音响改剧本..有时候还得去医院探望妈妈。
有时候,自己一个人很想哭的时候。却不敢让家人担心,只能笑..久而久之,我选择了颓废。

选择了在搞完演出过后,放弃所有的一切。
我放弃了我自己。


放弃了,所有自己认为对的事情。放弃了学业。选择了喜欢的戏剧,喜欢的事情。
结果,差强人意 =x 不过,我很感谢老天,在那个时候,竟然还给我一个权力及机会去选择自己喜欢的事情来完成。

对于戏剧?其实说遗憾,并不是没有。
我还真的很很喜欢那时候的生活。不过,我想或许命中注定我和演出的缘分就这样结束吧 =)
我想,那应该叫 【暂时结束】。 =)



2012年,在repeat的生涯里,其实老实说,我都是在混日子。
都是在卖弄小聪明。现在想起来,我还真的是他妈的牛B~xD year2到 year 3的所有assigment。

我竟然可以一个人solo了整整一年,不,应该是2年的功课?不管我是有team,还是没有team。
都是那样。而在这么多assigment里。让我最感激的就是 NCSM event的assigment,PNP 杂志设计的assigment 及 FC 最后killer paper被我秒杀的 assigment xD

我得感激 nika,是你让我发现你很..ok~keep it~呵呵!
反正,你这个组长,让我觉得混乱过 >.< 感谢mia 和 marlin,是你在我功课sibeh压力的时候你们告诉我别担心 =)
我真的发梦都没想到,安慰我学业压力的人既然是两个马来同胞 =D

还有 shy lin,我很喜欢和你合作,因为,你很听话。交代给你的功课我总是能够lepak不做 =)

joyce?..其实我知道你一直在背后做了什么。不过,还是得感谢你。你的好胜心,使我们进步得更快 =)

治城,其实我很喜欢和你说话,你是我们班上包过我4个男生里,3选1,唯一一个和我吃饭聊天最多次的,我觉得我们有缘分 =)
而且,这种不知怎么形容的感觉,让我觉得。你啊!是我的贵人!你的出现让2012年的我更更完美 =)

say jye,优等生 =) hmm,感谢你能够了解我说的东西,如果没有你,我想我和很多人都会有代沟 =x

carlson,厄..其实我很怕你。因为从你身上我好想感觉到很危险的气息 =D所以一直都和你保持距离。或许我们的人和不合?XD




啊!!
再一次呐喊。我真的没有想过我会这么样就毕业。
看到成绩时,心里还以为会fail了,他妈的全部 B ~ xD
ok 啦!满意~xD


然后..在看了成绩后看到了老师写的一封信。
我真的哭得很厉害.. =x


Dear students,

Class (as I always address all of you)

I know some of you may not be in my Advanced class anymore, if I ever see you again after this, chances are, you will be a grown-up, an adult who are working or married or become parents yourselves. Gosh, makes me feel so old and like you are part of my life as a 'parent' in a small role in shaping your future.

Class,

I am but a human being, I am not perfect, but remember, neither are you all.

I make mistakes, I am late for some classes, I do procrastinate sometimes (especially marking and returning your work), I talked too loudly, my words are not 'filtered' and I have emotions and feelings which may not be all happy and cheerful at all times, in other words, I tend to offend some of you at one point or other.

For every heart that I break or hurt, I am sorry, there are no excuses, it is something I could prevent but didn't.

For every feeling/mind that I hurt/scare, I am sorry, there are no excuses, I put it down to feelings of frustration in trying to control the class hence I resorted to threat and punishment.

For every barbed/harsh words I said, I am sorry, my mouth is faster than my brain sometimes, I regretted saying it the moment I see the looks of hurt and pain and even shock in your faces right after the words flew from my lips. I am truly sorry, I am still imperfect but I vow to improve, especially my speech.

For all my shoddiness in terms of professionalism at work, I am sorry, I have my lazy days too, that is not an excuse but remember, only 12-15 years ago, I was just like you all, a student of Mass Communication with an indisputable lazy bones, I amaze myself sometimes, why did I choose to be an educator?

The reason is simple. The reason I stayed on as an educator is due to all of you, my students.

You make me feel young and full of energy, you make me laugh and sometimes push me to the edge with anger and frustration, yet when you showed improvement or understanding, I felt so touched I can cry! I only want the best out of you, not only in exam results and assignment marks, but I wish to have a little space in your mind/heart that when you think of certain stuff like the 'Yellow M' you always call, you correct yourself and said to yourself, "Ms Tiong said it is the Golden Arch", and remember that Nike has a "Swoosh", it is not called a 'tick'.

For DPR3, I think my trademark most-used phrase is "Ada faham?", Do you understand?

For previous batches, I changed my most-used phrase from "Dunno", and my most recent phrase "Ada faham?".

Each batch is uniquely different and trust me, even if some of you can be a pain, I enjoy every moment with you all, bad or good.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for the journey with me, for helping me to help you to be better humans (I hope), sometimes I feel like I wish I could just upload all that I know and experienced to all of you with a click of the mouse or by connecting to your USB drive (like Avatar), however you will then be denied a chance to truly live and make your own mistakes and learn.

I apologise for all my short comings and trust me, you all have touched my heart and become a part of me no matter how you were in my class.

I wish you all the very best in life and do not forget what it truly means to be human - to not feel sorry at the end of the day when you are about to leave this life. Ms Tiong loves you all.

-End-







所有的情绪..还在消化中.. =)
早上世界!早安~~and bye bye~颓废的我~2010年-2011年从地狱死过一次回来~~
现在?XD ENJOY人生了哦!xD  我要让自己的世界,因为这一切的低潮而变得更幸福! 感恩所有一切让我成长的你们。

我,很恨你们。同时,其实我发现我爱你们 >.<





















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